The (alleged) suggestion by Oprah that tipping 10% is a good way to save money has predictably elicited vast indignation from restaurant workers. I would agree that 10% is possibly atrocious for genuinely good service, and yet, I also think that the tipping culture in the US, which has grown over the years from “10% is OK” to “15% is good” to “20% is reasonable” is itself in some ways badly out of control, thanks mostly to the laziness and lack of self-respect on the part of patrons.
First, in the event any resto-folk are reading, here are my basic principles for tipping:
- If you’re in a place you might visit frequently, err on the side of tipping well.
- If you’re being served alcohol, err on the side of tipping well.
- If you think you might be under the influence, err on the side of tipping well.
- If you know you’re intoxicated, err on the side of tipping excessively.
In other words, I strongly believe in taking good care of the people who take good care of me.
That being said, I also believe strongly that no server is entitled to a tip of any amount by the mere fact of my sitting in their section. The entire justification of the American tipping system, which arrogant and malodorous Europeans continue to ignore with disgraceful consistency, is that it aggressively rewards performance. While the food in Europe is lovely, the service is often akin to that of Home Depot, and vastly inferior to what you’d get in a mediocre diner off I-395 in central Connecticut.
But pay-for-performance, if it is to work, must cut both ways. All too often, I’ve been out with friends who’ve diligently applied a 20% tip after spending half the meal commenting on how many things the server screwed up. Usually this is because they “don’t want to cause trouble,” when trouble is their God-given right. Heinlein said “an armed society is a polite society,” and servers who know the tip isn’t guaranteed will serve accordingly. Likewise, managers and other servers should respect and recognize this. Unfortunately, because many good clients don’t like to rock the boat and are inclined to sympathize with staff, the burden of enforcing the golden rule falls on the jerks and loudmouths, who tend to err too far in the opposite direction.
Likewise, there is also a disturbing lack of consistency and transparency in the business of tip-pooling between the front and back of the house. Among other things, I continue to marvel at how many waiters make more than line cooks and sometimes even sous-chefs in restaurants above the level of a Chili’s or Olive Garden. There is no doubt that servers work hard, but so do the guys and girls in the kitchen. As a customer, I’d really like to know how my tips are being pooled.
Django
October 19, 2009
Reminds me of the opening scene in Reservoir Dogs.
In any case, if someone is suggesting saving money by under tipping, there is a better way to save. Not dining out in the first place. Which, if you follow that alternate reality, leads to the question: What would the restaurant workers prefer? Under tipping, or no customers at all?
I'm betting they'd go for under tipping, while reserving the right to gripe about it.
JKeohane
October 23, 2009
My favorite moment in tip activism was this: I was in a Back Bay restaurant, and the waiter almost immediately proved himself to be a rude and maladroit boor operating under an extremely unfortunate boy band haircut.
So I estimated the total of our lunch, and laid 20% of that on the table, mostly in ones. Every time he came over and made some offensive remark or screwed something up, I would make a grand show of removing a dollar from the pile.
It took him maybe $4 before he realized what was happening, but after that the service was unstoppable.
The Snob
October 23, 2009
Joe,
If it were anyone else I'd call that esprit de l'escalier, but in your case, I can only bow in admiration of your brilliance.