About

Born in 1975 to parents of mixed English-German-Italian ancestry by way of Jersey City, I grew up on the side of a mountain perched on the ridgeline between the northernmost suburbs of Manhattan and the southernmost reaches of hillbilly upstate New York. My talent for writing was noted early on by my second-grade teacher, Mz. Pettrocini, who docked me a letter grade off my essay on Nova Scotia, for “being too creative.” This soon led to my enrollment in the exclusive and highly-eccentric Malcolm Gordon School for Boys, located in a vast and musty Victorian-era mansion overlooking the Hudson River highlands, and whose curriculum included penmanship, squash, and riflery, among other things. From there, I graduated into a prestigious boarding school widely known for its vaguely-bohemian personality and well-equipped zoo, and whose more-illustrious alumni include Rufus Wainwright, Rachel Uchitel, and William F. Buckley, Jr., who advised me that the best way of coping with being surrounded by well-meaning hippies was “counter-revolution,” as if I needed any encouragement.

to be continued…